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Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006

Time:1:55 pm.
i decided today that i would do as little as possible at work. not really decided i guess, more like, it just happened that i don't feel like working and there's nothing terribly important i need to do today.

so my roommate decided on saturday to buy a condo and is moving out at the end of the month. this leaves me with a two bedroom, $800/month apartment 2 miles from downtown providence. i don't particularly want a random roommate and i don't know anyone who's looking to move to providence. it's a nice apartment, not the best, not the worst, but despite any faults it has, it has been my home for the last year and i really like it.

i've been looking at the possibility of one bedroom apartments around providence, but nothing seems to be what i want for the price i'm willing to pay.

this would be a good opportunity to just move somewhere completely different. maybe i'll check out the job markets in philly or san francisco or oregon somewhere and see what happens.

i'm trying to think of this as a good opportunity to do something different and new and exciting, but i can't help thinking that i'm pretty comfortable where i am right now.

ideas, comments, suggestions are welcome!
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 11th, 2006

Subject:lots of stuff
Time:10:11 pm.
so i don't want to vomit all the time anymore, which is really nice. things with casey make me happy and that's the way it should be. i'm trying not to eat dairy. i may start using this as a dairy diary, so i can keep track of what has dairy in it and how to avoid it. i really wanted pizza all day, but i didn't feel like making it and didn't feel like paying for it either, so i ate some vegan nuggets.

i've been exhausted lately, as in i can't get out of bed in the morning and i'm ready to go to bed when i get home from work at 5ish. i don't like it. i'm trying to get myself in a routine, but basically it feels like i'm making excuses to myself or making myself busy, so that i don't go to bed at 6:30 every night.

i thought this would be longer, but i don't feel like writing anymore, except this:

9/11/06
soygurt and granola and water
mushroom couscous and some stacy's chips and coke
vegan nuggets and pepsi

i don't even like soda that much.

maybe i can convince someone in the office to order pizza with me tomorrow. mmmmmmmmm pizza pie-er-wheat crust, no cheese, extra sauce, onions, olives, and tomatoes! this is what makes my tummy sing!!!
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, July 17th, 2006

Subject:letters
Time:8:43 pm.
Mood: anxious.
casey wrote me a letter. i want to write him back. for some reason i have never been able to just sit down and write a letter to someone. i feel as though i need to have a general idea of what i want to say and even most of the phraseology before i sit down to write. a handwritten letter anyways. there's something so permanent about a letter on paper and with pen. i don't know what it is exactly. it's not like a computer where you can go back and edit and no one has any idea what you've changed as you're going along. in a handwritten letter you can see the words that have been marked out. the ideas started and never finished. the carots showing an addition has been made. and even the occassional phrase created via pressing on the paper with ink present.

i used to write letters back and forth with adam and it was nice. i mostly just rambled and tried not to worry about what the finished product would be. just let myself free associate and see where it got me.

i think part of me is afraid of letters because it's an admission that, yes, i did write that and yes, i did mean that, and yes, it's physical proof of what's in my head and that's a little scary. i guess this journal is physical proof of what is in my head as well, but i can go back at any time and edit these entries and delete them and alter them in any way i see fit. you all would have to rely on your memories of what you originally read, unless you print out my journal entries for some reason, which is creepy, so please don't do that. but when you mail off a letter it's out of your control. you're entrusting the recipient, as well as the postal service, with what you have to say, with how you feel, and that's just very overwhelming at times.

there's also that weird lull where you've sent someone a piece of mail and then you talk to them and they don't mention if they've received the mail or not and you don't want to ask because you're not sure if they were weirded out by something you wrote or maybe you were too honest, or maybe you shouldn't have enclosed that picture of when you were 4 and you dressed up like mr. t everyday.

ok that's all i got.

and this: i pity tha foo' who don't write me back.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, July 9th, 2006

Time:10:37 pm.
so i've decided that from now on i will make some public journal entries. i don't really know why, i just feel like i've been censoring myself needlessly. i mean, if someone is really that interested in reading this then let them, right?

so i think i'm going to change my plates over to rhode island in august because i have to renew my registration then anyways, so why not just do it here and change over my license and all that jazz.

now i hate vanity plates, especially when they don't really make sense and seem to be random numbers and letters that no one can decipher. i have however decided that when i go to the dmv i want to pay the extra money for the "feed the hungry" license plate that has mr. potato head on it. the money goes to a good cause and everytime i see my car i'll remember that i need to donate and volunteer more. i have also decided that if no one has the license plate number RU486 i would like to have it. i would actually like to know what people think about this. i'm not really into plastering my car with bumper stickers or anything, so i feel like this is a small way to get people to think, but i also don't want someone to key my car because of it, so does anyone think that this license plate would be inflammatory or would people get it or would people ignore it? if i was technologically inclined this is where i would put a poll, but i have no patience for computers.

and if the dmv has already assigned ru486 to some soccer mom then i'll just take a random splattering of letters and numbers.

so that is that.

things otherwise are well. i'm trying to narrow down flight days/times for the end of the month for california/washington. it's going to be really nice to hang out with ben and woody and sarah as i do not get to see any of them as much as i would like. there's a death cab song about folding maps to connect people and sometimes i really wish i could. ok i'm sleepy and babbling now.

i want to write more.

if someone could tell me how to put a poll in here i'd appreciate it. i need some people to weigh in on some decisions for me.

good night and sweet dreams.
Comments: Read 12 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004

Subject:craig thompson
Time:12:36 pm.
i just read blankets and it is the most amazing book. you all should seriously read it. i have the biggest crush on the author now. he is so honest and lovely. i just wrote him an email, but i failed to profess my love. i'm not a crazy psycho fan. i picked up carnet de voyage last night which he wrote too and i just finished it, while at work, and it reminded me a lot of when i was traveling alone through france and italy. while i was at the book store last night i realized that there are so many places i want to go, but i don't know where to go first. and i don't really have a ready and willing travel partner either. after that trip alone i've decided that it'd be best for me to travel with at least one person. i mean i'm totally self-sufficient when it comes to traveling, but it's so much more convenient and comforting to travel with someone else. especially if you don't speak the local language fluently. i realized on that trip that i began to talk to myself out loud way more than is permissible for a sane person. i think i did it because i missed hearing a voice i could understand. sure i would hear people talking all day, but i could just get bits and pieces. anyone who could speak a bit of english i would try to have a conversation with. maybe i just need to start learning more foreign (and not ancient) languages. i was seriously considering last night not buying a car and just saving my money to travel outside of the u.s. but with a car i can drive cross country and there are so many places that i want to see in the u.s. so maybe i'll have to stick to domestic travel plans for now. ben mentioned wanting to go to d.c. so maybe we can do that in the next couple of months. he said all the museums are free or something and that would be a fun trip to take by train. the older i get the more i realize that i have acquired lots of stuff, that while makes me able to live quite comfortably, i don't really need. initially i had wanted my family to take a trip for christmas in lieu of getting material possessions, but that didn't work out. maybe next year. and once i started thinking about stuff that i might want i thought of quite a list, but these are all things that i don't really need, but i guess it's ok to have some frivolous stuff. i just don't want to end up one of those people who is always trying to save money to buy something and avoids going out with friends and what not in order to buy material things. i've blown a ton of money on christmas and i intend on spending a bit more, but it's for people i love and when i buy stuff for other people i usually don't worry about the price tag. it's funny because when i buy stuff for myself i always shop around and buy used things and what not, but when i go christmas shopping or just shopping for other people i just buy something if i think they'll like it and the price isn't much of a consideration.

i talked to the boy last night and i feel better and i'm not crazy, but i also need to work on just being me and single and happy. and the currier service we use at work sent out holiday cards. it's the three of them riding their bikes down the street and it's the cutest card ever.
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Time:4:50 pm.
all i want to do anymore is read (and update my lj, obviously). read all day long in my pajamas curled up on my bed with dinosaur. she likes to sleep near me when i'm reading. close enough to steal my body heat, but sometimes she gets silly and doesn't want to be petted. i am going to be a reading maniac like adam and weed my way through all the books i have bought in the last few years. i give myeslf 2-3 months and then i will allow myself to buy new books.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, December 7th, 2004

Subject:assessment...
Time:10:04 pm.
so when i was in kindergarten i used to cry when i got things wrong on my papers and i was very diligent, but it took me forever to finish my seatwork, so i was advised to go to k-1 this transitional grade where they helped you get over things that i seemed to have problems with. the funny thing is that most of the kids that i took ap classes with in high school were the same kids that were in this k-1 class with me. it's not that we were stupid, just had issues i guess. so i was looking through some old pictures when i was at my parent's house on sunday and i came across a teacher assessment from when i was in k-1 and i wanted to share it with you all:

1. language development- julie can name all upper case letters and 25 lower case. (she confused b and d). she can rhyme. julie has mastered several sigh words. she imitates "reading-like" behavior. julie understands the concepts of print.

2. math skills- recognizes numerals 0 to 10
counts to 79

3. social development- i am pleased to see julie playing games with other children as of late. although she is self-amusing, julie needs time to expand her social skills. she tends to be very bossy and inflexible with her peers. if they won't do it her way, she refuses to participate.

4. perceptual motor skills
coloring-excellent control
cutting-good control
numeral writing-improving
printing (name from memory)-terrific!
*pencil grip-3 finger grip
*this is an awkward grip that needs to change, in time. (by the way i still write with that same '3 finger grip'. they used to give us these rubber triangle thingers to put on our pencils and they forced us to use a 2 finger grip-where the pencil rests on your middle finger-my pencil likes to rest on my ring finger and it has done so until the present without any awkwardness.)

5. work skills-as we have discussed, julie strives for perfection in her seatwork. her perseverance is laudable, but she appears to have noticed that everyone else has completed their work long before she has. hopefully, she will learn to pace herself.

6. additional comments- julie is a lovely child. i wish that she smiled more and seemed more relaxed. she is so serious for her young years.

i guess some things never change. it's funny to look back on yourself and see how far you've come, or in my case, how similar you are to your little person self. i guess i just have to work harder, or maybe relax more, i really don't know.

if you made it this far i'll give you a gold star on your forehead.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, November 12th, 2004

Subject:Funeral Home Equipment & Supplies - $9000 (Woonsocket)
Time:9:50 am.
i just found that listing for funeral home supplies and shortly after it was this: The Jack Rabbit Vibrator - Comes with FREE Cleaner - $39 (Harrisville). craigslist.com, you are an endless source of amusement.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, November 9th, 2004

Time:11:43 am.
i hate it when my head tells me one thing, but my stomach still wants to expel everything.
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, October 26th, 2004

Subject:beds...
Time:12:53 pm.
so every morning when i wake up i make my bed. i make my bed before i actually get out of bed. i pull the covers wayyy up over my head and straighten everything out and tuck in the bottom if my feet pulled the covers out in the middle of the night and then i fold the top back and smooth everything out and then i slink out of my bed without messing it up. it's sort of a game, against me and the covers, to see if i am the master of my bed or not. i usually win. when i was little i hated making my bed. i never did it and my mom would get mad. one day my grandmother was visiting and she told me the best secret ever. when she was a little girl she used to hate getting up in the morning, just like me, so she would make her bed while she was still in it so that she could spend more time under her comfy sheets. since then i've made my bed nearly every single day.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 25th, 2004

Subject:these things are ridiculous and i can't help myself...
Time:12:28 pm.
Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...mysterious
Your hugs are...friendly
Your eyes...burn into my heart
Your touch is...irresistable
Your smell is...refreshing
Your smile is...entrancing
Your love is...eternal
Quiz created with MemeGen!



my kisses are mysterious? what the fuck does that mean?

and in other news...


Your Livejournal Blind Date
LJ Username
Gender
Favorite Color
What you are wearing
Oh look! Your blind date is desireexangele
Your date is wearing a French maid costume and a ball gag
You dine at McDonalds
Then you spend the next three hours skinnydipping at the beach
Before taking you home, your date gives you a diamond engagement ring
This makes you feel like you've finally found "the one"
This cool quiz by sarcasticka - Taken 24188 Times.
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New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, October 20th, 2004

Time:10:49 pm.
death cab tomorrow (thursday) night in providence. should be a nice evening. i have stuff to write, but i don't feel like sharing. I've had a recent obsession with being pregnant as well. that's all. good night and sweet dreams.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, October 15th, 2004

Time:2:15 pm.
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
xpuella8x goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as rainbow bright.
agaetisxbyrjun gives you 1 white root beer-flavoured gummy worms.
bleedingmustard gives you 5 mauve licorice-flavoured gumdrops.
drmik3y tricks you! You get a toothbrush.
fahrenheist gives you 2 tan banana-flavoured nuggets.
godownfighting tricks you! You lose 6 pieces of candy!
knit_me_a_heart tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
pushyouaround tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
slackerdkp gives you 13 blue passionfruit-flavoured gummy fruits.
xbennybloodx gives you 1 purple licorice-flavoured wafers.
xmyheartx tricks you! You lose 9 pieces of candy!
xpuella8x ends up with 5 pieces of candy, and a toothbrush.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, October 13th, 2004

Subject:one good thing about the 9-5...
Time:10:05 pm.
"In a democracy, everyone gets a turn," says Coyote.
"Nonsense," I says. "In a democracy, only people who can afford it get a turn."

reading books i bought for classes i took YEARS ago is well worth it. i only wish i had made the time back then to finish them.

thomas king-green grass, running water
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, October 8th, 2004

Subject:take a look at this...
Time:12:51 pm.
at work and counting down the hours. long weekend=yay! i'm going to see lord of the dance with my mom and aunt this weekend at one of the casinos in connecticut. it should be interesting. maybe going to an art show tonight, we'll see. been talking to some guy on myspace who has been involved with women's self defense courses and such. he actually knows a bit about male entitlement and violence against women, so we've had some interesting conversations. he lives in providence, but i'm always wicked sketched out about meeting with people in real life that i find on here. maybe i'll take my body guard desiree and everything will be fine. i was at the grocery store a few nights ago and i walked by this aisle while two guys were coming out of it and they said something about myspace and startled giggling and when i turned around they stopped giggling, so maybe they recognized me? i guess it doesn't really matter because they didn't have the balls to say anything to me anyways. yesterday when i was walking home from work (by the way i walk to and from work everyday, 1/2 an hour each way and it's awesome to be able to walk to work.) i heard someone yell 'bitch', but i didn't think much of it. then i hear 'fuckin bitch' and i'm like what is going on? and then they drive by me and yell 'fuckin whore'. i don't know anyone in providence, so it's not like i could have personally offended them in some way. i laughed the rest of the way home because it just made no sense at all. i could have understood if i was trying to prostitute myself or something, but i was walking home from working at a law firm, not like i wear mini-skirts and tube tops or anything.

so all in all life is pretty good. i have a whole bunch of scarves and hats and stuff to sell, so as soon as we get the website thing going i'll have some extra money. i'm trying not to spend any extra money, so i can really save up for a decent car in a few months.

things are going really well with FAL. there was a speak-out against hate speech and violence against women last tuesday on my birthday and while i wasn't there i got the play-by-play and it sounded amazing. about 30 or so people stormed the president's office after the speak-out. amazing. all of these women truly inspire me to be a better person. and there's a new group now called MAP (Men Against Patriarchy) who helped out at the speak-out and are taking on some of our planning and pressuring of the administration. it's nice to have allies. we've had a bunch of meetings with sharpp and the women's commission and the coordinator of the women studies program, mara, in the past few weeks and all of the meetings seem to really be pulling everyone together and getting us on the same page, even if we don't all completely agree. it feels like we're truly making a difference. i've been searching on the internet for different groups are prov that i can get involved in. i found this group that offers different services to blind people. and one of the things they do is give out these special radio transmitter thingies to blind people and they broadcast on a special wave length, so that only the receivers pick it up and they read the news and books and stuff because i'm sure it's difficult if not impossible to get the daily news in braille. so i'm thinking about trying out to read for them. it would definitely be an interesting place to volunteer at.

so this is ridiculously long, but i don't update very often, so get over it.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, October 1st, 2004

Subject:updating at work rocks!!!
Time:1:55 pm.
"...the lesson that just might save the planet: people can disagree and still love one another deeply; people can have completely different perspectives and still be right...there is no betrayal in being yourself, home must be made within, and the best communities [relationships] are those based on mutual respect."

-alice walker you are amazing
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, September 27th, 2004

Time:4:21 pm.
so i finally have a job!!! the woman informed me that i'm wayyy over qualified, but it's something at least. so i'm going to be a receptionist at a law office in downtown providence. i answer phones and greet people and if i get bored they give me random other things to do. not bad for $10/hour. i start tomorrow, then i'm in nh wednesday and thursday, and then i work friday. i have an interview at michael's the craft store tomorrow night too. maybe i can work there a couple of nights or something for extra money. and the woman at the law place is really cool, she said it's no problem if i only want to work there until i find another job because they need someone really badly. so as soon as i find something i really want it won't be a hassle to get out of this job, which will be nice. and it's 8:30-5, monday-friday, so weekends and nights always off. i feel so relieved now because i don't have to worry about being able to pay rent and eat and such and it'll be interesting to have a regular job. now that the job thing is pretty secure i feel like i can start doing other stuff, like trying to meet people. oki'mdonenowbye!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, September 21st, 2004

Subject:sometimes i don't know what to do with myself...
Time:8:04 pm.
you are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you make me happy,
when skies are gray,
you'll never know dear,
how much i love you,
please don't take my sunshine away.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 6th, 2004

Subject:i need an around the way boy
Time:8:46 pm.
at the parent's house, heading back to prov in a minute. desiree and i are gonna hit up some knitting circle at a cafe later in the week hopefully. yes we are old ladies and we're going to make old lady knitting friends. it's a start anyways. it's really interesting moving to a place where you know no one and social interactions aren't set-up for you. like when you first get to college and they make you do ice breakers and be social even if you'd rather sit in your room by yourself. then you're forced and you hate it and now i almost wish someone was pushing me. i'll make it though. i'll be in nh wednesday for a bit and then all weekend, so call if you want to do something this weekend. i should have internet by the end of this week, which will be nice because i should get around to moving my computer down to prov by then. it's never taken me so long to gather up my belongings as it has taken me this time. this is the hardest move i've ever made too, maybe that has something to do with it.

i have an interview/orientation thingy tomorrow. wish me luck. i could be your new financial advisor for american express! yay!???!

hugs and kisses to all and to all a good night.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, August 26th, 2004

Subject:moving, what?
Time:10:26 pm.
so i'm not moving until monday instead of saturday. so all you people who were sad you didn't get to see me one last time can call me and we'll do something. apparently the front porch of our house is still being repaired. this repair job was in process over a month ago when we first viewed the apartment. i think they are shady carpenters. tomorrow is my last day of work. i'm going to miss the people, not so much the job, especially because today about 20 minutes before i leave a woman comes out of the bathroom and tells me that while she didn't use very much toilet paper the toilet is somehow ridiculously overflowing. and ridiculous it was. we're talking an inch of water in the hallway outside of the bathroom when i came on the scene. so work, you shall not be sadly missed.

so my dad got stupid for a minute and decided to have his truck taken apart to be painted and it won't be whole again until next week, so i can't use it to move with. my mom is amazing and pulled some strings and got us a cargo van though, so that will help.

i will miss dover and friends. it's funny how when you know that your friends are right up the street you don't bother to hang out or see them that often figuring they'll always be there and when you move you realize how stupid that was of you. to all you people i have not made the time to see, you are important to me and i hope one day soon i will have my priorities straight. i'm working on it. good night.
Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for juliek.

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